New aluminum keyboard - Remap volume & player keys to F13 - F19?

(I couldn't see a 'Keyboards' or 'Other Hardware' section of the forum so thought I'd post here).
I've just bought the new aluminium keyboard. I'm loving it apart from the placement of the volume keys, iTunes/QuickTime control keys etc. I want to remap them to the F13 through to F19 keys.
Also I'd like to remove/disable the brightness controls from F1 & F2 (can't think why they thought of placing them there?)
How would I do this?

Also I'd like to remove/disable the brightness controls from F1 & F2
After you install the keyboard software
<http://www.apple.com/support/downloads/keyboardsoftwareupdate12.html>
go to the "Keyboard Shortcuts" tab of "Keyboard & Mouse" system preference, scroll down to "Display" (near the bottom), and uncheck it.

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