New ios5, managing two iphones on itunes

updated both mine and wife's iphones, things seem to be messed up. All my contacts were deleted, substituted with hers. My app's appeared on her phone, including a work email. Her text messages to me come over ID'd as my personal email. I restored my iphone back using time machine, but wondering if there is a better way to manage this off one imac itunes account?

I'm in the same situation as you and here's what I did. I've had an iPhone for 2 years (3GS and now 4) and she just got a 4S. I was not sure if we should share the same iTunes account or split, and after doing a lot of reading I wound up deciding to get two separate iTunes accounts. It seems that part of your problem is that you are sharing one iTunes account. I think in the long run you're better off getting two accounts or you'll keep having these issues.
Even with two account I think you can still share music libraries.
So far this setup seems to work OK with one caveat (see Music below).
I have iPhone 4, she has a new 4S.
We have one Mac at home.
I created two Users on the Mac, one for each of us (I also did this because her desktop is a mess but that's for another thread...).
We have two separate iTunes accounts, each with our own Library.
I sync my phone on my User account with my iTunes account.
She does the same (actually I do this for her...)
What we get:
* Share the same Address Book (aka contacts) on the Mac. Somehow we are able to read/write to the same Address Book from both of our contacts.
* We seem to be able to share the same apps, even paid apps.
* Synch photos to the same shared iPhoto library (although I had to follow these tips so we could both read/write to the same shared library).
Troubleshooting tips:
* If you have trouble syncing contacts, make sure that you both have the same iCloud settings. Somehow I managed to have one phone with iCloud and ther other without and that made it problematic to sync contacts to/from the Mac to the iPhones.
* Music: my wifes phone still has greyed out songs. I haven't figure this out. I've seen this in other discussion threads. I think this can be solved eventually.

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