New OS Needs ALL Updates, Must Install Offline

I'm new to working in this field and I have just been assigned the task of collecting all updates for Windows 7/2008 R2 into a singular file so that every time we install a fresh OS, we can apply these updates offline. As you can imagine, for security
purposes the new OS is to remain offline indefinitely and no third party apps are allowed. I've found a WSUS Offline app, but since it's not from Microsoft or DISA it's no good. I have easy access to all 300+ updates via the DISA/DoD Repository, but
surely there is a faster way than: click link, find correct file, download file, repeat until eyes roll back into head and drool collects on the floor. I'm sure I'm not the first person in the world who has had to do this, any suggestions for getting about
half a decade of updates in a less mind-numbing way?

The idea is that we have hypothetically lost all of our backup images and have nothing from which to make an image. If you-know-what hit the fan and we had to rebuild a system from scratch, we would have yet another form of redundancy. Others are working
on finding things like Java and Adobe Flash, as well as our more unique programs for the same purpose, but since Microsoft updates require you have everything from the past to work I can't just find the newest installer and call it a day. Everything listed
under "Installed Updates" I need to find. 

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