Newbie Questions/Comments - SMS and Instant Messaging

I am a new iPhone 3G owner. Before the iPhone I used a SideKick and a BlackBerry. Between those 2 the BlackBerry was my favorite. The email, IM and TXT messaging was great. Now I have the iPhone and I like it but have 2 MAJOR gripes:
*1. SMS* - When txting with someone from my old provider (T-Mobile) the txts are REAL slow. Several minutes pass before receipt. I did a test and sent and received txts from someone on the Verizon network and had no problems. Does anyone know what would be causing this?
*2. Instant Messaging* - Now this is my biggest gripe. Instant Messaging is non-existent. Why is this? It used to be my primary means of communication.
There was another one but I can't remember it right now. Any insight to either of these would be appreciated. I've never spent so much time trying to figure out a phone.

For number 2, this is well known design limitation of the iPhone. The iPhone does not allow background applications to run, so if your phone goes to sleep or you leave the IM screen, then IM is shutdown.
Apple is supposed to release a background notification service, but it is past the launch date, and no one knows when it will show up.
If realtime always on IM is a must have, then the iPhone is not a good choice.

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