No A/V chat together, however we can A/V chat with others

Here is a New Year's puzzle for Ralph...I want to help a friend via Messages screen sharing.  When chat with him however, all of the A/V choices are grayed out. But I can do A/V chat with others, as can he!  We both have gmail accounts. 
Connection Doctor says no bandwidth problems, every type of connection has a green check, but CD indicates that the router type is not fully compatible with A/V chatting. Router has uPnP enabled.
Any ideas?  Thanks in advance.
Using an MBP with 10.8.2, Belkin G router, cable internet.

HI,
Is the Buddy actually using iChat or Messages ?
If they are logged in to Google using a  Web Browser (or even another app) you will not be able to Video or Audio Chat with them.
Of course he could have the Mic and Camera turned Off (Unticked) at his end.
It is vaguely possibly he does not have enough Internet Speed for A/V chats  (Dial-up speeds below 28kbps)
10:38 PM      Tuesday; January 8, 2013
Please, if posting Logs, do not post any Log info after the line "Binary Images for iChat"
  iMac 2.5Ghz 5i 2011 (Mountain Lion 10.8.2)
 G4/1GhzDual MDD (Leopard 10.5.8)
 MacBookPro 2Gb (Snow Leopard 10.6.8)
 Mac OS X (10.6.8),
 Couple of iPhones and an iPad
"Limit the Logs to the Bits above Binary Images."  No, Seriously

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