No tethering option visible despite being allowed by carrier

I have an iPhone 3Gs on the o2 network in Ireland. Recently, o2 enabled tethering on the iPhone with a selection of plans. As someone who purchased an iPhone 3GS when it first came out, I should be able to tether without adding anything on to my bill plan.
At first, I couldn't get the phone to download the carrier settings update - despite connecting it to iTunes and prompting it to check for updates in every way possible (and despite the carrier settings update popping up instantly with my friend's iPhone, purchased earlier the same day I tried it). Eventually, on the advice of o2 support, I restored my iPhone to try to get the update. After quite a lot of time looking at the screen, my phone finally restored, and the fabled carrier settings update prompt came. Unfortunately, after all that, I still don't have the menu option to tether. I contacted o2 again and they think it may be a handset issue.
Is anyone else having this problem? Any ideas how to solve it?

Do you pay for a tethering plan? They may not be doing anything to 'block' it, but under normal circumstances, carriers have to specifically enable it, which usually requires an extra charge. If you DO pay for a tethering plan, make sure they know you have an iPhone and make sure your line is provisioned correctly. If you DO NOT pay for a tethering plan find out if this is something you need to subscribe to when you have an iPhone and again, make sure they know you have an iPhone.

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