Not Apple's greatest upgrade

Question

Not the smoothest OS upgrade Apple has released. Maybe they were just trying not to make Windows Vista look so bad. My upgrade took me 13 hours (an unlucky number that!), but did finally work. The take home message is:
IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD AN EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE BIG ENOUGH TO CLONE YOUR WHOLE INTERNAL DRIVE AND SOME CLONING/BACKUP SOFTWARE, DON'T BUY LEOPARD UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO LOSE ALL YOUR DATA AND RE-INSTALL ALL YOUR APPLICATIONS.
Here is the history of my rocky road to Leopard:
22:30 25 October 2007: Clone perfectly working 500 Gb internal drive (247 Gb free space) running under OS 10.4.10 with latest updates to external 1 Tb drive using Intego's Personal BackupX4 .
22:45 25 October 2007: Go to bed.
07:10 26 October 2007: Check there are zero errors in external clone.
18:45 26 October 2007: Purchase Family 5 pack licence for Leopard
16:00 27 October 2007: Bite lip, insert Leopard Instal DVD and follow instructions
16:03 27 October 2007: Get warning message in window where you choose the drive on which the upgrade is to take place: 'Mac OSX cannot start up from this volume. The destination disk must be erased for installation.'
16:04 27 October 2007: Reboot successfully from volume from which Mac OSX supposedly cannot start up and check formatting of disk - it's Mac OS extended (journaled) as it should be.
16:05 27 October 2007: Re-attempt Leopard install - result same warning.
16:10 - 17:10 27 October 2007: Conclude there must be some faults in the headers, tree structure, or permissions on the internal disk, so spend an hour checking internal disk with Disk Utility, Drive Genius and Tech Tools Pro - all of which say there are NO FAULTS. Nevertheless, to be sure I defragment the drive.
17:11 27 October 2007: Re-attempt installation of Leopard - result, same warning.
17:12 27 October 2007: Ring AppleCare and wait about 20 minutes listening to the world's most untuneful tunes from the iTunes Music Store. I figure that the wait means I am not the only customer having problems and wonder whether Apple Customer care were prescient enough to roster extra technical support people for the days following the release of Leopard.
17:32 27 October 2007: Technical support Assistant, Dave answers my call and I explain the problem. Dave says, 'Oh that means you have to re-partition your internal drive, restore your clone to the new partition, install Leopard on the new partition and blah de blah de blah de blah! I dig my heels in and tell Dave that is simply not acceptable and that Apple has promised me that this upgrade will be smooth and the easiest yet. I am not prepared to do all that - I want another solution.
17:33 27 October 2007: Dave agrees to call a higher authority and we try various thinks like ejecting all the external (Firewire) hard drives to no effect. Dave's higher authority then suggests I check the internal drive with Disk Utility again (having restarted from the Leopard Install DVD). As soon as I click on Utilities in the Menu bar the yellow warning sign on my internal drive disappears mysteriously and is replaced by the friendly green arrow saying that the installation onto my internal drive can proceed.
17:50 27 October 2007: Mistake #1 - I follow Dave's suggestion and click on 'CONTINUE' (with hindsight what I should have done at this point is to click on 'OPTIONS' and established whether of not the radio button beside the first option that reads something like 'Upgrade will replace existing OS and no other files or data will be affected', but I'm a trusting person and follow the advice of dave's higher authority. The upgrade seems to be going OK after 5 minutes, so Dave gives me a case number and asks me to call back and quote it if further problems occur.
19:30 27 October 2007: (Note: 90 minutes after the AppleCare Helpdesk closes on a Saturday!) The Leopard installation program completes and asks me whether or not I wish to enjoy the delights of Leopard. I click 'YES' and Leopard relaunches successfully and I check the contents of my internal drive and find to my horror that, without warning. Leopard has done a 'CLEAN INSTALL' - all my data and applications are GONE! I am now ON MY OWN UNTIL 09:00 Monday - I swear, pull out my voodoo manikin of Steve Jobs and insert a few curare-tipped hat pins into it.
19:35 27 October 2007: Feeling better, I reconnect external hard disk with cloned Tiger OS + data and attempt to use Migration Assistant to migrate all my families accounts and applications to Leopard. Migration Assistant tells me that the external clone does not have Mac OS X installed on it (despite the fact that I can see a 'System' folder containing 10.4.10 on it) and that it can't migrate anything. I swear some more and put more hat pins into 'Steve' - one right through his groin!
19:40 27 October 2007: I attempt to change the start-up disk in Leopard to the external hard disk with the cloned 10.4.10 - everything seems to work, except when I click restart (with the padlock item locked) the computer refuses to restart from the external drive and defaults to Leopard (3 f**king times!). I insert more hat pins into Steve, including an extra long one that goes up his rectum and out of his right eyeball.
19:50 27 October 2007: Becoming desperate and not being able to reboot from the external drive I decide to install Personal BackupX4 on the internal drive and attempt to clone the external drive onto the internal drive. I can't see how this will work with the Leopard OS being needed to run PBX4 and it trying to write a 10.4.10 System folder over the top of it, but what have I got to lose?
19:51 27 October 2007: To my complete surprise with the source set to the external drive and the destination set to the boot drive the clone starts as if OK. I go and work on my bicycle.
01:30 28 October 2007: PBX4 says that it has transferred all of the files (except a couple of fonts that are apparently incompatible with Leopard) but has entered 'flat-line mode' where it says it is 'finishing' but not transferring any data - this has been going on since 00:30. I try to exit PBX4 without success - even force quit doesn't work. I turn off the Mac and try to restart - the grey screen of death spins its little wheel for 10 minutes while I insert my remaining hat pins into Steve who is now looking like a porcupine.
01:45 28 October 2007: I go get my trusty Tiger install DVDs for the PowerMac (Intel Xeon x 2) and try to remember how to get the DVD drive bay door open when the Mac won't boot. I scream 'Open the pod bay doors Hal' at Steve waking my wife and both dog's all of whom start barking at me! I calm down, apologize to my wife and the dogs, and try holding down the eject key when I push the power on button. It works! I realize that the pins in Steve are beginning to work - this is the first piece of 'good fortune' that I have experienced for 24 hours! I re-install OS 10.4.8 (which came with the PowerMac and update it to 10.4.10 using Safari.
03:15 28 October 2007: I now have my Power Mac in the same condition as it was at 16:00 the previous day having used Migration Assistant under 10.4.10 successfully (Unlike Leopard, 10.4.10 DOES RECOGNIZE 10.4.10 on an external drive) to recover all of the family's accounts and data from the external clone. I go outside and stare up at the night sky, I see a mouse scuttle towards the hen house and hear the click of a mouse trap. Seizing my chance, I rush to the hen house and retrieve the still warm corpse. I prepare a small pile of twigs in the garden under the (nearly) full moon and place Steve and the hat pins on top of it. I cut the dead mouse's head off and squeeze it's blood onto Steve. I light the twigs and strip naked and dance solemnly around the sacrificial fire incanting 'worms, woolly aphids, codling moths and all known pests of the Apple tree give me The Power!' Lights go on in the house next door.
03:30 28 October 2007: I explain to the police patrol officer what I am doing and why and he helps me put my clothes on again. Fortunately he is sympathetic, because he had attempted to install Leopard on his Intel iMac before coming on duty and was still watching the grey screen of death when he had to leave for work. He tells me his name is Darren and asks me if the moonlight sacrifice has worked for me in the past. I tell him that it did when I had a similar experience going from OS 9.5.5 to OSX, but I add that I had to use owl's feathers on that occasion as there were no mice in the hen house that night. Darren asks if he might be allowed to watch as I attempt another upgrade to Leopard on the restored 10.4.10. He tells me he admires my intestinal fortitude for even attempting it.
03:45 28 October 2007: Darren watches as I eject and disconnect the external hard disk, bite my lip for the umpteenth time and close the DVD pod bay door and click on the install Leopard icon. We get to the fateful 'choose disk for installation' screen and this time, by the Power of all of the pests of the Apple tree the welcome GREEN ARROW magically appears over my internal drive. Being less trusting and more experienced than I was at 17:50 the previous evening, I click on options - the radio button beside the 'Upgrade will replace existing OS and no other files or data will be affected' is highlighted. I cross myself, throw a pinch of salt over my left shoulder onto Darren's uniform, apologize and click 'CONTINUE'. The DVD whirs and I pour Darren and myself a beer. We have several more and recount Mac upgrades past over the next 90 minutes as Leopard re-installs.
05:15 28 October 2007: While singing the third chorus of 'Eskimo Nell', Darren and I notice that Leopard is asking us whether or not we wish to sample its features. I throw three more pinches of salt over my right shoulder (being carefull to avoid Darren's uniform, which is now covered with beer stains and cracker crumbs) and click 'YES'. Leopard reboots and there as if by magic, is my old log-in screen, and then my desk top with all of the new Leopard widgets! All my data is still intact (although I do have to re-install about 12 applications because the licence key files have obviously gone missing in the clone/migration assistant exercise. Darren shakes my hand and we embrace. My wife enters the study in her dressing gown with a quizzical look on her face, possibly wondering why I am hugging a beer stained policeman in uniform. I tell her that I will explain everything later.
05:30 28 October 2007: Darren bids me farewell and as we walk to his patrol car I retrieve another freshly dead mouse from the hen house and some twigs and give them to him with my best wishes. 'Take care', he says with a tear in his eye, 'I'd better go back to the station and clock off.'
'You too', I reply, 'Come on Honey, it's time I got some sleep, a Leopard can't change its spots! You don't mind if I leave Tiger on your Mac for a few more months do you?'

Answer 1

If you are unwilling to backup your data regardless of update/upgrade, I have no sympathy for you.
If you recall, the panther to tiger update was also no picnic. And it just makes good sense to backup all of your pictures/data anyway - regardless.
That in mind, your story is witty and disarming! Bravo on the final success.
I have upgrades/clean installed 3 macs with no issues on each. Maybe my luck <shrug>