Notification emails not getting into ical?

We frequently have a problem whereby invites and notifications of responses to invites don't make it into people's ical. We are a small office of mac users, most of whom also have an iphone.
Taking my computer as the example:
2010 iMac, 10.6.8, ical 4.0.4
I set up an even in ical, invite my colleagues, it sends out the invite. I get a reply to this with an acceptance, it appears in Mail, but not automatically in ical. Then either:
1. I double click the .ics attachment in the email, ical opens, but the event to which the person has replied is not altered - they are still showing as a questionmark as to whether they can attend. Or,
2. I drag and drop the .ics file into ical and the event updates with the person's attendence. This is fine if I've only invited one person, but if I've invited more then every time I drag and drop into ical it makes a new event with just that one person attending.
I'm fairly sure it hasn't always been like this - I thought events were supposed to appear in ical when you were invited, and when people replied to your invites ical was suposed to pick this up and record it. It is beginning to drive me mad and people are losing track of meetings because they're not manually dragging the .ics event file into ical.
Any ideas?

In webmail, make your spam folder the inbox. This will ensure all emails are received.
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Notification emails not getting into ical?

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