Old iPhone doesn't sync

Hi,
I have an oldish iPhone that appears unable to sync.
iPhone specs:
Version:     3.0.1 (7A400)
Model:       MB489X
Size:          7.1G
Computer:
Laptop i7 on Windows 7 (brand new)
I hadn't synced my phone for a long time - probably a year or two. A few months ago, I changed internet/phone companies from Telstra to Optus (Australia), hense my email address has also changed.  I found my old log-in to iTunes (thank goodness).  I recently also swapped my iPhone mobile carrier from Telstra to Optus and was told that I needed to sync and change carriers using iTunes.  I went home, started my laptop in order to load iTunes and found that it had broken down (defunct video card - proof that somebody up there wasn't on my side that day!)
Anyway, a brand new laptop later loaded with Windows 7 (goodbye Vista - and STAY OUT!).  Set up with internet, browser, email etc.  Loaded iTunes and installed it.  Initially my phone wouldn't sync (I think) because I wasn't logged in (something about it was already synced to another computer?  Probably my old unworking one).  Found my old password, so I thought "OK, now I'm cooking with gas".  Not so.
The iPhone connected to the new system and was listed under the DEVICES and immediately came up with the message regarding new carrier information and I said yes to this (that was my main aim, having been without a mobile for about a week now).  But when I clicked the "Sync"button it looks like it's going to sync with "Preparing to Sync, Step 1 of 1", but then doesn't.  I tried this multiple times.
One thing, it does specify that an update is available for iPhone, version 4.2.  When I click this, it warns that I should sync first.  Perhaps this is the reason it won't sync?  Catch 22 possibly?  Is my iPhone software so old that it is no longer backward compatable with iTunes?  Surely not...
I have not changed any defaults on iTunes etc.  I also have no difficulty in the past syncing this iPhone.
Could anyone help with why this might be happening and how to fix it?  Now that I have iTunes, I would like to have a backup as my phone is quite old now and is more likely to cark it on me without warning.

Might I also add that the options for syncing also appear to be one way.  When I click to sync music and audiobooks, a message appears stating that if I accept this that all info on my phone will be replaced with that on my pc. There is nothing on my PC yet.  I want the sync to occur the other way around - create a backup of my phone - not wipe it because there is nothing on iTunes yet.  Note that it doesn't say that for photos.
What am I missing?

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