One itunes account two phones with mixed up apps

I have an iphone 3Gs (Hers)and my boyf 4 (His), and i used my itunes on my computer to put music on his phone before- no problems.
I had upgraded my phone to iOS 5.1 and a few days later did his. iTunes recognised the phone id as "His" and proceeded to say upgrade available blah blah blah, and backed it up, and asked that there were purchases on "his" that werent in my iTunes libruary, etc, all went fine so we thought.
Now he has all my contacts in with his contacts and he's missing all his apps! and when we go across to Apps tab on summary it won't let us apply the selected apps to sync back to his phone. We tried manually deleating the contacts AND UNWANTED APPS (Ab workout & Period Tracker!) only to find them back on there when we went to put the music back on.(which is not going back on either btw)
He cant access App Store as my id ([email protected]) is coming up constantly on his phone and its asking for my password. He downloaded Facebook and some soccer apps this morning directly to his iphone using my ID as he cant get his to come back or get back his stuff that are in the itunes libruary. THe newest problem is that half hour ago i went into App store on my iphone, which is still accepting my ID, and downloaded FM104 ( he has this already) - the downlad commenced and up poppped the three soccer apps and downloaded too onto my iphone.
My boyf is a carpenter and has alot of contacts in his phone, and doesnt want mine, he's like his music back as he's on the road alot, and doesnt need a 7pm reminder to take his contraceptive pill going off!!!  PLEASE HELP !!!

Each device can have its own sync preferences with iTunes that the user controls. The same apps can be installed on both devices or different apps on each device, which is selected under the Apps tab for each device.
First disable automatic syncing when each iPod is connected. Under the Apps tab for the first device, deselect automatically sync new apps. Deselect the apps that you don't want installed on the device. Select Apply followed by a sync.
Repeat for the 2nd device.

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