Our I tunes is not allowing us to sync and update our music on any ipod. We can see our songs in music library but as soon as we plug ipod in to sync all songs have an "!" is next to them and it erased our ipods. How do you fix this?

We can see our music in the library of our I~tunes account but we can not click on a song to listen to it. As soon as we do an "!" comes up beside it. And  we tryed to sync our ipods... as soon as we plugged them in they are recognized but they erased our ipods and an "!" was put beside each song. We can sign out and leave itunes and when we get back on our account our songs are there with NO "!".(until we plug an ipod in again) WHAT IS GOING ON!!!???

When I use find file http://www.macupdate.com/app/mac/30073/find-file (which does tend to find files that "Finder" can't), it's not coming up with any other itunes library files that have been modified in the past week, which I know it would have been - unfortunately, I don't have a very recent backup of the hard drive.  It would be a few months old so it wouldn't have the complete library on it....any ideas?  I'm wondering if restarting the computer might help but have been afraid to do so in case it would make it harder to recover anything...I was looking at this thread https://discussions.apple.com/thread/4211589?start=0&tstart=0 in the hopes that it might have a helpful suggestion but it's definitely a different scenario.

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