PC issues? - one Mac (iChat 2.5) works, another (iChat3.1) doesn't

Hello.
Yet another "video chat with PC" issue. But it has me stumped. This is the situation:
I am running a G4 Powerbook (Panther 3.9) with iChat 2.1. I am able to successfully video chat with my big (as in older) sister who is running Windows XP and latest version of AIM(5.9). I am running over a wireless network through a Linksys ADSLmodem/Router combo (WAG54G ver 2). All great - bit choppy but more than adequate.
Here's the thing that is tres frustrating:
Another computer - an iBook running Tiger 10.4.3 and iChat 3.1 - on the same network (wireless etc) wont video chat with the same PC user!! I get my sister (PC user) to initiate the video chat, I accept it, and then she is able to see and hear me, but I only hear her -- What gives?
Seems to be that the problem is not with the XP setup (else it wouldn't work with the Panther system - right?).
Does this have something to do with DSCP QoS technology (something which I know nothing about) as indicated here: http://www.mvldesign.com/videoconferencetutorial.html?
Is is a router setup problem?
Any help, redirections, caring words of support would be great...
Regards, and thanks
Simon

Thanks for your responses. James - I have added you as a "buddy" - my buddyname (mac) is [email protected] - when you are next online I might try it out.
Ralph - I have had a good look over your site...
Neither of the macs had (and still don't!) their respective firewalls turned on... so doesn't seem to be the problem.
In terms of port forwarding on the modem/router -- it is using it, I tried to set up port forwarding for udp and tcp on port 5060 (for the specific ip of the iBook - which I have now manually set). .. but hasn't made any difference. But the router setup is very different from information on your site...
I also tried a completely different (much cheaper, and wired) router (with default settings) - but no luck - in fact, couldn't even replicate the "best" situation of this problem.
Just to reiterate, there is no problem with audio, and my sister gets video of me - but me not of her - so this would indicate my router/modem (wag45g ver 2) is not letting video data in - right? (except when I am using iChat 2.1 on PB running panther). This situation is NOT replicated when I invite her to chat - in this case we can't even get a "link" (an "outgoing" issue???).
I also tried turning off router's firewall - but it made no difference.
Apologies for my very nascent understandings of networks. When I read the word "packets" my eyes glaze over, and i start thinking of packets of potato chips.
mmmm ... chips.
Regards
Simon

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