Phone stuck in recovery mode- Itunes not recognizing phone so cant' restore

Please help. Im snowed in with no phone. I accidentally tried to update my 3gs to the latest software before updating my itunes. Now it is stuck in "recovery mode" showing the itunes logo and cord icon.
So I successfully updated itunes but it does not recognize my phone. I have tried restarting the computer, hard starting my phone, changed usb ports. When i plug the phone into the usb, my computer recognizes it and launches the "new hardware wizard". I tried having windows find the software but it never finds anything.
im not sure what else to do. I cant even get apple to help because i don't have a phone.

If all else fails, try the steps I listed in my post below:
http://discussions.apple.com/thread.jspa?threadID=2325175
I had the same problem, after a few days of troubleshooting this was what finally got me working again!

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