Photoshop CS5.1 - can't do ANYTHING

Hi there,
I am having a major problem with Photoshop CS5 Extended under Windows 7.  Basically, the software has become virtually unusable.
I can't open any files and creating new files rarely works (I have to try about 20 times before it finally opens a document).
When a new document does, by chance, get created, I can't do anything inside it.  I try to use the brush tool and it starts drawing for about 1-2 seconds then freezes and disappears.
I have tried virtually everything I can think of including:
Updated my video card drivers.
Ejected all CD/DVD drives, removed all external peripherals (printers, scanners, memory sticks, iPod connections, etc.)
Completely uninstalled and reinstalled Photoshop.
Disabled the OpenGL setting.
Reset my settings file (CTRL+ALT+SHIFT on start).
Changed my scratch disks around.
Run Photoshop in both 32-bit and 64-bit mode and as administrator.
Run Photoshop in compatibility mode.
Interestingly enough, I installed Photoshop CS (yes, CS1) and it has EXACTLY the same issue, which means to suggest it's something common to all versions of Photoshop.
I have tried absolutely everything I can think of to get it working, but it appears useless.
No error message, nothing logged, nothing at all.
I feel extremely frustrated that Adobe could let such an enormous bug into their flagship product, moreover, not provide any useful debugging information or error messages when the problem does in fact arise.  It seems to me very poor quality.
I would appreciate any possible solution anyone could suggest, as I've exhausted my research and knowledge.

Haha, right.  I blame Photoshop for not showing an error message or log entry because it can't run under my system.
The ultimate cop out.  "It's a problem with your system."
I think if you spend five minutes searching the forums, you'll notice many users report the same thing.  In fact, a lot of users suggest the create a new user "solution."
Seriously, search around.  Eject your CD drive (hundreds of people saying "that works!").  Upgrade your video card driver (a few say that works).  Change your default printer (a lot say that works).
Are you seriously saying Photoshop is perfectly fine instead of saying "Photoshop tried to query your printer, but was unable to, please investigate."?  Come on.
If you're a developer, you'd agree it's pretty straight forward.  It's not a hardware problem (it works as another user).  No other application has any problems running under the user account, so unlikely to be a virus or anything launching with applications.
Photoshop is clearly getting an exception (because I can see that in the debug), but isn't showing an error message or log entry, therefore prevents a user from troubleshooting why it's occurring.
But sure, you can blame it on the user's system instead of fixing the issue in Photoshop.

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