Please help before it kills my entire library!

I’m sure this has come up before but I have to ask.
When I add new songs to my iTunes, it will “misplace” older ones and adds exclamation points to them?
At first I thought this was because I had to have my hard drive replaced and it lost the original songs but the more songs I add, the more get “lost” and now its started to affect the songs that I have purchased from iTunes recently so I KNOW its not due to the hard drive replacement. What can I do? Way too many of my songs are exclamationed now. I backed up the list several weeks ago because I had a suspicion this was what was wrong. The weird part is, even though the songs are gone in iTunes, it doesn’t delete them from the iPod. Even if I clear those songs. It will add the new ones just fine, but it won’t delete the old ones. There doesn’t appear to be any rhyme or reason to the deletion of my songs. They just go as I add more. I have 330 songs and 70 of them are exclamationed. I had more but started deleting them before I figured out what was happening. So far, I seems to only happen when I add new music, no matter where its from. It even happens when I purchase from iTunes. Please help before it kills my entire library!
I have an 8 gig iPod so I know its not because its full. Oh, and Im running on an older Gateway, but I can’t even begin to tell you what year or anything and OS is Windows XP Pro. I also have the latest version of iTunes and update regularly. Any other info you need?
I haven’t needed to lately, but Im scared for if I need to restore my iPod. (I have had to do it once before) Im sure that it will delete the songs that have been preserved that were deleted on the tunes. One more thing, it APPEARS to be mixing up the artwork on the iPod itself with other artists. For example, my Kerli artwork is now my Matchbox 20 artwork and so on. That problem is only with a few songs though.
Any ideas? Thanks SO much for trying to help!

Check your Preferences > Advanced > iTunes Music folder location to make sure that it is correct. Also, is "Keep iTunes Music folder organized checked"? Have you tried to Consolidate Library? (Note: I'm not saying to do that, yet, just asking if you have.) Have you used Windows Explorer to actually locate your music?
I've seen where iTunes could be "missing" a song but not indicate it with the exclamation mark until some action is attempted -- moving, dragging, playing. For me it would be because I forgot to turn on the external drive where my music is stored. But then, once I mount the drive, I still have to point iTunes to its Music folder again.

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