Previous laptop crashed, got a new laptop but I can't use my iphone with it

My old laptop crashed and is now inaccessible. Not only is all my music on itunes on that computer, but it was also the computer that I used to sync my iphone 4 with for updates, music, and other media files. So now with my new laptop, I can't put more music on my iphone 4 and I can't download the iOS 5 update.I can authorize my itunes account on my new laptop, but I can't download the update or manage the music on my iphone without clearing everything that is on my iphone. Retrieving the music wouldn't be a problem if all my music was bought from itunes on my account, however a large part of my music is from other sources. I'd also like to download the iOS 5 update without completely wiping out my iphone 4.
Any way I can sync my iphone with my new laptop that won't clear my iphone's memory? And is it possible to get my music from my old laptop back? I know this question is similar to others that have previously been asked, but its different in that my old laptop is completely inaccessible.
Extra info:
-I tried to backup my old laptop when it was pretty much dead. I was able to backup some files, however not my music.
-Both laptops are PCs.
Any help would be much appreciated.

What exactly is it that you are concerned about losing.
What did you have before your new Mac.

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