Prob trying to backup iPhone

I have a problem with making a backup from an iPhone: the iPhone was activated about 3 months ago on my (Windows XP) laptop. Since then it was not hooked up to any pc anymore. It was only synced with our MS Exchange/AD.
Now the owner wants me to make a backup of his iPhone and to install the newest iPhone OS 3.1.2.
And here´s the problem: when I connect the iPhone with any(!) PC System, a dialogue appears, asking me if I want to setup the iPhone as a new iPhone or if I want to restore it from a backup. Its name, memory usage... are not recognized. It seems to have never been activated before.
If I connect any other iPhone, iTunes displays the iPhone´s Name etc. right away.
The iPhone that causes the trouble is of course not jailbreaked or anything like that.
The main problem now is, that if I set up the iPhone as a new iPhone, all personal data, like contacgroups, notes, assignments... are lost afaik - or am I wrong with this information?.
So how can I backup and upgrade this iPhone?
I´ve tried it on different Windows based systems always with the newest iTunes software available.
Thanks for your support.
bye,
Frank

If it's in recovery mode, there is nothing left to back up. Anything that was on the phone is already gone.
You have no choice but to restore.

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