Problem syncing iPhone4 with iMac 10.6.8

I was in line to purchase the very first 8GB iPhone in June 2007. Loved the 3GS, and now I'm on the iPhone 4. Have absolutely LOVED the iPhone since the beginning! The Apple syncing was AWESOME. Much improvement (ease of use) over my old Windows Mobile phone, and Blackberry before that, and Palm Pilot before that. However, recently, since the introductino of iCloud, I'm becoming VERY CONCERNED because the syncing is not happening. I use iCal on the iMac and the Calendar app on my iPhone. I do not make calendar entries on my iPad at all. In the past, everything just worked (syncing between iCal on iMac and the iPhone). Everything stayed synced together. If I made an entry on my iPhone calendar, after a sync, it would automatically appear in iCal on my Mac. Any changes on iCal on the iMac would, after a sync, appear on my iPhone.
I've depended on this behavior for years now, and am very frustrated to learn that some calendar entries are not syncing. I am running the older 10.6.8 on the iMac, so when I tried to turn on iCloud, it didn't work on the iMac. However, it worked on the iPad and iPhone. I ran in to the problem with double entries as I've seen in other posts, and got tired of deleting all the duplicate entries, and eventually decided to turn of iCloud syncing of my contacts and calendars because I need accuracy in these two apps. Can't afford to lose any of my 3500 contacts or hundreds of calendar entries each month. I noticed today that a Feb 22nd doctors appointment was not listed in iCal on the iMac. Checked the iPhone and it was there. Synced the iPhone, and the appointment did not appear in iCal on the iMac. Checked my settings on iPhone and found it was set to iCloud being on (to use the find my iPhone feature) but all syncing to the cloud settings such as calendar, contacts, etc. is turned off. Then checked my iTunes iPhone syncing preferences and found it was set to sync to backup to iCloud. Changed that setting to BACKUP TO THIS COMPUTER instead. Also, checked to make sure that all calendars were selected, and that Sync to iCalendars was checked. Did another sync to the iPhone, and that Feb. 22nd doctor's appointment did NOT copy to iCal on the iMac. It is only on my iPhone. Does anyone know how to turn off iCoud completely (and keep find my iphone feature) and make it sync to my iPhone? I really need the old feature of just being able to sync my iPhone calendar with my iCal calendar on the iMac. Is this still a viable feature? Can it be done without updating the iMac OS?
My big problem is that I've trusted all my calendar events and contacts to the iPhone and syncing with iCal on the iMac for the past (almost) five years, and I've gotten to where I don't even worry about it because it always just works. Now that I've disovered that it is not syncing calendar entries, I'm begining to wonder if it is not syncing other calendar entries. Also, I'm very concerned about not having a backup. In the past, if anything happened to my iPhone, I was confident that I could buy a new iPhone, sync it to my Mac, and I'd have all my important contacts and calendar entries. Now, I know, if I got a new iPhone today, I would lose this calendar entry, since it does not sync. It goes through the motions, step 1 of 7, step 2 of 7, etc., but this calendar entry is not syncing. I'm wondering what other calendar entries are not syncing.
Any help with this problem would be GREATLY appreciated!
If I can't get this problem fixed, I'll be forced to go back to a paper calendar like I used back in the 1990s (unless I can find my old Palm Pilot). Also, I can't just wipe the phone or iCal on the iMac because I have important calendar and contact entries on both and assumed that they have been syncing - but, they have not been syncing recently.
Thanks VERY much for any help with this issue!!!

Not sure why you are getting duplicates if you have Settings>iCloud>Calendars set to Off.  But if events added to your phone aren't syncing to iCal on your mac you might want to go to Settings>Mail,Contacts,Calendars>scroll down to the Calendars section and tap Default Calendar.  Here be sure you have selected your mac calendar as your default and not, for example, the calendar under On My iPhone.  If you do change this setting try adding another even to your phone and syincing to confirm that it transfers now.

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