Problems connecting to itunes and windows

I have a 4th generation 20gig ipod and since i ran the most recent update (2005-6-26), itunes wont recognize my ipod. i plug it in and it says do not disconnect, and itunes slows up for a bit like it always does when it recognizes my ipod, and then my ipod isnt recognized. Sometimes it will ask that i update the software. When I tried updating my ipod again, the updater wont recognize my ipod. it just gets stuck on initializing and it stops responding. To see if windows recognizes it, i went to my computer. When i click on the icon for my ipod (which now looks like a little music player with headphones), my computer (the box, not all of windows) stops responding. I reset my ipod by holding down the menu and center buttons, and now all my music is gone, except my ipod says that it has the capacity for 18.4 gb but only has 13.4 gb of space remaining. this makes me wonder what is taking up 5 gb of space on my ipod, since there is no music . Also when i attempt to disconnect my ipod through safely remove hardware, the safely remove hardware box freezes and stops responding, so as of now, to disconnect my ipod, im just physically disconnecting it, and i dont think thats good for the ipod. Help would be greatly appreciated.
-ray

I turned off the laptop and it still won't connect. We have comcast, we put our new modem in 2 weeks ago, the laptop is new from Friday. Everything was working fine until I downloaded iTunes. This happened yesterday and my mom clicked on the apple software update and then my wifi connected, so I tried that today, everything is update and it still won't connect. My dads android still connects and the two iPod touches we have still connect. Could it possible be my phone that's the problem? thanks for your help!

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    Thank you for using Apple Support Communities.
    Cheers,
    SterlingD

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