Problems seeing my IPod in My Computer or ITunes

I'm sure this is a common problem (hence the numerous posts, and help topics on it) but I have gone through all the help topics from Apple and can't find one that actually helps me. I got my Ipod a couple of weeks ago at my parents and I set it up there fine, named it and downloaded music from their computer onto it. When I got back to mine I installed ITunes and the IPod and attempted to download my music onto it, knowing that it would wipe all the music I had from my parents.
When I tried this, however, I had no joy. I couldn't see it in Itunes or in My Computer. I have tried reseting it, I've tried every single USB port on my computer, I have removed and reinstalled all the software, I've updated to the latest software. I would have restored it to factory settings, but Itunes updater doesn't recognise that I have an Ipod.
What makes matters more annoying is that it charges fine, when I plug it in to the USB I get the 'New Hardware Found' sign in the bottom right of the screen saying Ipod, and wen I go into Device Manager and down to USB controllers there is 'Ipod' there with a yellow exclamation mark over it.
My computer more than meets the system requirements except I don't have Windows XP service pack 2 (it breaks my computer when I download it!), but I'm sure that can't stop it from recognising my Ipod.
I've really run out of things to do - any help would be most gratefully received.

okay, let's try hitting this with the "MarkJones special", just in case there's a problem with the PC locating the Windows USB Mass Storage Drivers:
MarkJones: Re: Windows XP (SP2) Laptop only finds generic "New USB 2.0 Device"
(this is usually a better bet with a code 28, or a message with some explicit mention of drivers ... but it can sometimes be of help with codes 1 or 10.)
love, b

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