Problems synching form iTunes to ATV

I have no problem synching purchases made from ATV to iTunes on my MacBook Pro but when I try to do the reverse a sync starts but dies a few minutes in and the Apple TV listing in the Device section in iTunes disappears and never comes back. I have to start the connection from ATV to iTunes again to get it back.
Here's the frustrating / buggy part I don't get....
1. The second after I re-establish the connection on iTunes to ATV it starts trying to sync a Movie it appears that has already been synced and is on both the MacBook Pro and ATV. It basically says in the LCD section of iTunes Transferring Purchases of Apple TV (so it appears to be trying to re-sync Star Trek every time). About 5 minutes into that the whole thing loses its sync connection, device disappears etc, gone forever until I reset everything.
2. Why is it that I can't just tell Apple TV to not try to sync right away... it gets set to automatic sync after each new reset and gets into it so fast it starts trying t sync the purchases. I throw it into Custom Sync and turn off the automated settings and Apply... the sync continues and does not stop. Stopping it in the LCD does stop it bit then it does not respect my new settings and then trys to do the Purchase transfer again after hitting sync and gets into step one.
Lather, Rinse Repeat into this endless loop between #1 and #2.
I can however stream from iTunes to ATV fine but that is not what I am trying to accomplish.
Any insight out there to this?
Thanks,
Kevin

Here's an update to my sync reset problem which is even more mysterious.
1. I decided to hook my MacBook Pro directly to an Ethernet cable and then try the sync. This time the sync went through completely but it did create a duplicate copy of Star Trek on the ATV, I guess from iTunes and it copied the movie I told iTunes specifically to sync which was "Alice". Thats the good news and I thought the problem was isolated to having the MacBook Pro on wireless and maybe between ATV through the router and to my MacBook Pro which was on wireless as well. But this was not the end of the story...
2. Got my email today with the Alice bonus track redemption codes.... since I was on a roll in step 1 except for the duplicate movie I downloaded the 4 bonus tracks into iTunes and then tried to sync those to ATV but what happened is it tried to start syncing Star Trek again and obliterated my Alice on the ATV listing.
So I seem to be in this weird state where iTunes or ATV does not realize it needs to sync that movie again and since that sync takes about 30 minutes before it can get to Alice and more importantly I told iTunes to not sync Star Trek but it does it anyway like it is starting new.
Things that make you go hmmm.

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