Problems to connect with VNC to headless mac mini after sleep mode

Hallo,
I've a Mac Mini (late 2009) setup with Lion Server. I want to use it without mouse/keyboard/monitor attached. Since I want to safe power ( green IT ;-) ), I would like to use sleep mode.
First thing I've learned is, that Lion Server prevents the mini to go to sleep after an idel time as set in power saving.
The only thing that works, is setting up a shedule with sleep / wakeup times.
When I start the mini, everything works great. I can connect via VNC. The Mini goes to sleep at the scheduled time and wakes up again as expected.
From this time on, things begin to get strange:
I can connect using VNC, but all i get is a grey screen with a moving cursor. So VNC is working, but there is no screen available on the Mini. Same if I use thightVNC from a Windwos PC. Get a grey screen.
Further the system does NOT go to sleep at scheduled times any longer.
I was able to track down the problem to the missing monitor: If the Mini wakes up without a monitor connected, I seems to wait to get the right resolution or what ever. All servives are working, SSH is fine even VNC works, but shows only a grey screen.
I've been playing with attaching / detaching a monitor. Sometimes I got:
- Boot with monitor
- connect with VNC, see login screen
- send Mini to sleep
- disconnect monitor
- wakeup Mini
- VNC reconnects, showing grey screen
- plug in monitor and wait until login screen appears on the monitor
- VNC switches from grey to login screen
The only way I can save some energy is a sheduled shutdown / restart. So headless works, but not after waking up from sleep.
Any hint or solutions for this ?
Thanks
Marc

Look in the security feature. This is a link to the FAQ (step 6): http://support.apple.com/kb/PH4014?viewlocale=en_US
I had the same issue when I connected my Mac Mini to be a Media Server.
/r
C.

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