Remote 2.0 will not connect with iTunes

I have been trying to resolve this issue for many days and I can't find a solution that works anywhere.
I have a PC running vista and iTunes 10 on a wireless home network. Remote 2.0 is on my iPhone 3G running iOS 4.1. I can't get iTunes to recognize that the remote app is running. When Remote shows the four digit passcode to enter - the remote will not show up in iTunes. I managed to connect the two once - but when I tried to repeat the connection immediately afterward it didn't work.
-I have the Apple remote ports open through the firewall (disabling the McAffee firewall doesn't change anything anyway)
-The devices ARE on the same network (I can connect to Air Sharing via windows explorer)
-iTunes is checked to "look for remotes"
-It doesn't matter whether I try to connect using Home Sharing or not
-I have tried to "Forget all remotes/connections" in iTunes and the iPhone.
Any ideas as to what is going on? I know it can work because it did once - but only once.

Hello dkdawes,
Welcome to the Apple Support Communities! 
I understand that when you are syncing your iPhone, you are receiving a message that your iPhone has timed out. In this situation there may be a few different troubleshooting steps that I would recommend to help you resolve this issue. Please refer to the attached article for information on these steps. 
iTunes: Resolve USB-related alerts - Apple Support
Best regards,
Joe 

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