Remote App: iPhone not showing up under devices

I have the older iphone and have the newest versions of iTunes and the Remote app.
I have the "Look for iPhones" under devices checked
I have sharing checked.
I changed my firewalls to the third radio and allowed incoming for iTunes.
I've tried starting the Remote app first, and then opening iTunes and vice versa.
Yes, they are on the same wifi connection.
I'm stumped. Why isn't my iPhone showing up?

Suffered for 50 minutes on this one today!
Finally got everything to work by digging a truck-sized hole through my firewall.
In my case I had to enable Bojour service- was for some reason disabled in my windows startup, can re-enable by Start>Run>services.msc and make sure Bonjour is set to automatic and start it.
Also had to open up my AVG antivirus firewall settings and make sure Bonjour was not blocked.
Also had to set my iphone's wifi ip address as a 'safe network' in AVG firewall settings.
ALSO had to go into my router settings and specify a new application rule for routing: In the case of my D-Link DGL4300 I chose Advanced>Gaming>Add Game Rule, then gave it 'itunes remote' as name, chose my computer ip for the IP Address, then 3689 for TCP and 5353 for UDP, and Allow All. Saved that.
Restarted iTunes and whattya know, it just worked (and I was never ever asked to enter that 4 digit passcode anywhere, soooo have no clue what the point of it is).

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    I work in the computer support section for the Military.  The only problem is we use Windows , lol.  Well that and i've been gone for nearly 6 months on recover.  I go back next month though I hope.  But working in that field gives me the abilty to judge responses that run inside the same vein.  Your response was so awesome that I half thought I might have written it myself. 

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