Remote app won't see my library

Ok, trying to control my computer's music using Remote. Got a 4S in good working order with iOS7, fully updated. Got a mid-2012 Macbook Air holding the library. An Airport Express is providing wireless connectivity.
Here's some screenshots to walk through my problems here:
This pane looks correct.
Got my Shared Libraries option ticked, looks like I'm ready to go.
This is weird. No "Shared" heading here.
Home sharing is definitely on, and using the same Apple ID as the Remote app on my phone.
Remote tells me:
Turn on Home Sharing in iTunes on your computer or on Apple TV using the account … .
I've tried disconnecting and rebooting both devices. I've not yet tried restoring the phone, and I'd like to avoid it if possible.
One more weird thing: Trying the option of adding a computer that is not using Home Sharing, I got the following to happen: First, the Remote app appeared as a device as it should. Finally, something's happening! Then, I put in the confirmation code (so far, so good) and then… nothing. iTunes hangs for a while on the okay button and a gray iTunes logo appears in the Remote app that is impossible to interact with in any way beside deleting.
Bottom line:
I want to know if there's something wrong with my network settings, or if there's an obscure sharing setting or terminal command that I need to invoke for this **** thing to start working, or if I'm simply out of luck. Any ideas?

Can't help on this as I am having the exact same issue.  Went through updating both iTunes on my MBA and Remote to latest version as of today (June 1st 2014).  Nothing at all happens.  Firewall permissions granted to iTunes.  Little Snitch is not blocking any itunes traffic (in fact I even tried disabling it and no better results).  I do have the PrivateInternetAccess client installed but even disabled and exiting from the app, nothing appears.
I miss the side bar in previous iTunes versions where Home Sharing used to be.

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