'Remote' Button not visible in Mac iTunes 12.1

My Remote app on iPhone 6 (iOS 8.2) suddenly stopped working with my Macbook Pro (mid 2012, Yosemite 10.10.2) and iTunes 12.1.    The documentation points to a Remote button in iTunes 12.1 that isn't there.
In the Remote app, my Mac's iTunes library was greyed out for 2 days, so I deleted the connection, and tried to start over.  The app creates a 4 digit code, and says "to add an iTunes library, open iTunes on your computer and choose Remote from the tab bar."  But when I open iTunes and look at the tab bar (music, movie, TV and phone icons in upper left) I don't see a Remote button.  When I select the phone icon, I get a drop down menu, but there is no Remote button visible (I presume I'm looking for the blue circle with the right arrow).
I can reach my 3 Airports from iTunes on my Mac, but have lost the ability to control anything from my iPhone.   I want to know how to find the Remote button in iTunes 12.1, so I can add my Mac's iTunes library to my iPhone Remote app.
Cold re-boots on both devices didn't help, and I unfortunately don't know if this happened after iOS 8.2 update, or iTunes 12.1 update, as I hadn't used the app in a month or so.  Sharing is turned on for both devices. 

PS Reinstalled Remote app, with no luck.  Also reset my router.  I've done this setup (iOS Remote app->Mac iTunes) before; it's simply not working anymore.

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