Remote not working on iPhone 4S

I just got the message "Turn on Home Sharing in iTunes on your computer or on Apple TV using the account *************@****.com."
The problem is home sharing is turned on on both the Apple TV and in iTunes in my computer.  Before I got this message, the remote app was timing out when trying to connect to the Apple TV.  What can I do to make the remote app on my iPhone 4S see this?  FYI I also hava an iPod Touch (2nd Gen) on which the remote app is working properly.
I'm running iTunes 10.5.3 on a Macbook Pro 2.53Ghz Intel Core Duo, an iPhone 4S, and an Apple TV (1st Gen) running OS 3.0.2.
Thank you

I just selected "Forget all remotes" from the "Devices" tab in "Preferences."  I then repaired the remote app on the iPhone with iTunes on my computer.  It worked to pair the remote app with iTunes on the computer, but I'm still not paired with the Apple TV.  On the iPod, when I select the source list in preferences in the remote app, it brings me to a screen that has an icon for the Apple TV and and an icon for the iTunes library on my computer.  But on the iPhone, there is only the icon for the iTunes library on my computer listed.
On the iPod, Home Sharing was turned off, yet it controls the Apple TV perfectly.
When I go to the General tab under settings on the Apple TV, and go into the "Remotes" section, it brings me to a screen with 3 choices:
1. Unpair/Pair Apple Remote (iPhone & iPod touch Remotes)
2. My iPod (Other Remotes) with the linked symbol next to it
3. Learn Remote
1.     When I select Unpair/pair Apple Remote, a picture of a transmitting Apple TV remote appears-I assume this is just for Apple TV style remotes, not iPods or iPhones simce this doesn't effect the iPhone when I select it.
2.     When I select "My iPod," it brings me to a screen that syas "Remove My iPod: Removing this remote prevents it from controlling your Apple TV."  I don't remember having to go through the Apple TV to synce the iPod with it, but here it is, listed in the remotes section of the Apple TV, while my iPhone is not listed.
3.     When I select Learn Remote, a screen pops up that says: "Before you start, choose an unused device setting on your other remote.  Then select Start using your Apple TV remote."  I assume this is to train a learning remote to function with the Apple TV.
I just want to make sure, is more than 1 iPod, iPhone, iPad, etc allowed to control a single Apple TV?
Does anyone have any ideas why the iPhone would be able to control iTunes on my computer, but not be able to control the Apple TV?  Again, everything is on the same network and operating in the same location.
Is there a compatibility issue between Apple TV (1st gen) running ios 3.0.2 (the most recent update) and an iPhone 4S running the most recent version of Remote App?

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