Restoring Music from Backup

Hi Everyone
Need some help from the experts here as I can't seem to work out how to get all the music on an old iPhone onto a new one.
Will try and describe the problem as best I can.
My husband will be getting a new iPhone 5 next week, this will be replacing his current 3GS. 
This week I gave my son my old iPhone 4 to replace his 3GS and in the process of restoring his 3GS backup to the 4 we lost all his music.
It restored everything (apps, photos, contacts etc....) but did not reload all the music he had on it.  So he had to manually reload all 1200+ songs.
So....I want to avoid this when my husband gets his new iPhone 5 as he has over 3000 songs on the phone and doens't want to manually reload all 3000+.
I, maybe incorrectly, understood that when I backed up to the PC that it backed up everything, including music, and would restore this, is this not correct?
If it doesn't, how can I avoid losing all the songs on his 3GS when updating to the 5?
Any help and advice is much appreicated.

Thanks so much for the quick reply. 
When you say 'sync' it back, does that mean he has to select each song one by one and transfer back onto his new iPhone?
Sorry if I seem like a bit of a gumby.
When I restored my son's iPhone 4 with his 3GS backup we did 'sync' (using the sync button on the bottom right hand of the screeen) but it still didn't bring back all his music.
The ridiculous thing is I can recall a few years back doing this and it worked perfectly, so not sure what I am doing wrong.
Both have their phones set to 'manually manage music' as they don't want all 20,000 songs transfered to their iPhones, could this be the problem?
When I went into the 'Music' tab on the device and chose 'Sync' - it asked if I was sure I wanted to remove everything from the device, which is not what I want to do.  If I say yes will it delete eveything on his phone and will he have to start again?

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