Retrieving inadvertantly deleted e-mail? Is this the big "duh"?

Help oh faithful Apple warriors! My 2002 14" G3 iBook crashed -- On my third mother board -- so I've been using my wife's 2003 12" G4 iBook in the meantime. I log on to .Mac on her Safari and check my e-mail that way.
Well, I had a problem with some "sent" messages not appearing in the "sent" box and so I went to her mail application to see if I could check it there. I set up my .Mac address as a new account. (To complicate matters, her e-mail account is a sub-account of mine. We paid for it but I forget what that is called.) Well I made a mistake and set-up a copy of hers. I then figured that out and added my account.
I wanted to delete the copy I made of hers and went to "Help." I was able to delete her "sent" and "drafts" but not the copy of her "inbox." I then looked for my missing "sent" e-mails and didn't find them. I deleted my "sent" and my "drafts" off her computer. I was unable to delete my "inbox" off her computer. AND A GOOD THING -- because I went to check my "sent" e-mails online and they were GONE. There was something like 1,500 sent e-mails. I looked in the "trash" and nothing. I rebuilt my "inbox" and thought this would restore the "sent" box and it didn't.
Help! Is there a way to get them off the server?
And if not, how can I safely remove my mailbox off of my wife's "Mail" application and not lose what's left of the contents of my .Mac mail account (i.e. the "Inbox".)
Hoping for the best -- Lost in LA

Or someone might be so kind to post the solution here, saves me getting a few wrong diagnosis.

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