Same Apple ID but different emails

First off, some info about my situation...I have a 4S, iPad 2 and MBP. I am the only one in my household that has iOS5 and can therefore use iCloud. When I was going through signup for iCloud, it asked for an existing Apple ID, so I used my iTunes account one (a Gmail address) and it then created a me.com email. So far, so good.
Like many, I then thought it'd much easier if I could just use the new me.com address for everything Apple related from now on, so I tried to change the email address associated with my Apple ID to the me.com address...but no joy, as I kept getting the you can't use a MobileMe account etc. message (even though I've never had one!). I then noticed that somehow (I guess when I used my existing Apple ID to join iCloud) my me.com address was already listed as an alternate email for my Apple ID.
I can log in to all things Apple related using either email address (although iTunes still shows my Gmail address even if I log in using the me.com address).
Apple support files recommend that most users use the same Apple ID for both iTunes and iCloud. Am I right in thinking that as the 2 email addresses are linked and are the same Apple ID that it won't make any difference what email I use for either (so if I wanted I could use the me.com for iCloud as my "Apple ID" and the Gmail for iTunes, or vice versa or even use one for both)?
Secondly, I'd like to use the new me.com address I created for FaceTime and iMessage...I have signed into FaceTime on OS X using the me.com address and on my 4S, under their respective setting I've also done this (plus I've put the me.com address for "You can be reached for video calls at"). Can people FaceTime etc. only if they know my me.com address or can they also use my Gmail address, seeing as they are the same Apple ID? I also realise that I can also add my Gmail address as an alternate for FaceTime and iMessages but do I need to, as again they are the same Apple ID?
Sorry for the long winded post but thought it best to give as much as info as possible and hope it's written clearly!

You can have the same Apple Id, but you do need to have different email addresses for the "You can be Reached by Facetime At" section under settings.
If that is o.k, then make sure the email address you set for each device is the one being used to initiate the facetime call.
If your facetime call is initiated using the email from the Apple ID its effectively like calling yourself.

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