Same Calendars, different order on Mac and iPhone

I've been having the sync problem that many others have been having: i.e., when I sync to one of my two MacBook Pros, the computer overwrites the iPhone. This doesn't happen with the other MacBook. But my more specific question is: I noticed that my iPhone has the same Calendar names as both of my MacBooks, but not in the same order. Does this say that something is wrong, too?

If the Address Book on your Mac includes contact info and the same for your iPhone's address book, the first time you sync with a supported address book on your computer, a merge option should be provided. This should merge the data between the two, not provide duplicates.
If you want the more current contact info that is available on your iPhone transferred to the Address Book on your Mac, the only way to do this is via the merge option which should be provided with the first sync. If you want to ensure than contact info will not be duplicated, and you want the contact info that is available on your iPhone transferred to the Address Book on your Mac, delete all contact info in the Address Book on your Mac except for one contact. This should provide the merge prompt when syncing contact info, which you want to select. If the remaining contact in the Address Book on your Mac is duplicated on your iPhone and with the Address Book on your Mac after the initial sync, you can delete only one duplicate instead of many, if all contact is duplicated when selecting the merge prompt, which I don't believe is what happens with a merge. After the initial sync for contact info, the contact info between the two will be synchronized.
The same applies to calendar events on your iPhone with the first sync with iCal on your Mac.
A merge should merge the data, not create duplicates, but I haven't tried the same after restoring the Address Book on my Mac from a backup with a new hard drive.

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