Same iTunes account but on different computers?

My husband and I have both got iphone 4s that are on seperate computers but the same itunes account. We have enabled the cloud so obviously have merged contacts and calendars which is what we want but his calendar is from his PC and we want it from my mac only (thats the first question - can we do this?) Does he have to back up via icloud and not computer.I would like to keep mine to the computer if possible.
I also don't want all of his apps?
I am also haing trouble getting anything on to my phone! It only has my purchased off itunes on there - am i not allowed to put on the legally bought CDS on there without match?
We want the photos that we both take to just go to my computer only. He uses his for work everyday so charges his phone through this. Is the only way if he outs it onto my computer?
Any help appreciated as i seem to understand the concept but can' put it into practice?!
Is it worth taking them all into an apple store and getting set up help?
Thanks

make sure you have the new itunes go to the store then it will say purchesd and there after you click it, it will show everything you have ever bought on itunes and you can redownload all your music and anything you bought from there hope this helps

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