Secure Emailing with Apple Mail/OS X

Greetings everyone.
I've been tangled in an email mess for a month now, and I need to resolve it before a hoard of friends and business contacts lose faith in me. All ideas are welcome!
The story so far. Our family has multiple email accounts with a local ISP, vallnet.com. A month ago we finally got satellite internet access through HughesNet.com. We want to keep a cheap account with vallnet, though, and continue using our vallnet email addresses. Vallnet has a procedure for accessing their email servers through another ISP. I followed their instructions, imported their authentication certificate, and was able to download emails.
Sending emails is another matter. I tried every possible configuration for my Mail account smtp settings, and eventually took a MacBook Pro over to vallnet for them to configure. After a few days they returned it. They say that it is impossible to access their secure smtp server using Mail. They say that their system is entirely standard complient, but that Mail or OS X is making some assumptions about protocols that will not work with their server. IS THIS LIKELY? If so, WHAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT???
They suggested relaying our outgoing emails through HughesNet's server. Hughesnet does not allow this.
Vallnet suggested getting a static IP from HughesNet which they could tell their server to accept. I checked and this would require us to upgrade our service plan with HughesNet, plus pay a monthly fee. This totals around $300/year, so is not an appealing solution.
Vallnet, of course, also points out that most of their clients are using Outlook Express, and if we just used it...... Nope! I love Macs and I'd really prefer to stay with Apple Mail. Is there any hope of this?
I've spent a month wrestling with this mess. I keep calling various company's tech support lines, but there seems to be a universal rule that forbids techs from two companies from consulting with each other. They keep telling me that the problem is not on their end, and spouting technical Jibberish that I try to relay to the next tech on the next call. I'm afraid they all realize I haven't got a clue, and my sanity and sense of humor have just about evaporated.
Okay, Folks, any ideas?
Many thanks!
Kim
PowerMac G5, 17" MacBook Pro, 17" PowerBook, 15" PowerBook Mac OS X (10.4.8)

Hello and thanks.
Yes, at vallnet's suggestion I tried using port 587 and later port 425. No luck. They say that other mail programs are not having difficulties.
They said they had found some articles on the web about how other small ISPs had also had difficulties with secure connections and Apple Mail. I have not found any such articles yet, and they have not forwarded any links to me.
Yes, I have been wondering which set of tech support folks was giving me the biggest runaround. You're probably correct, though I suspect both have been less than enthusiastic about trying.
Yep, we've considered switching email addresses. With several businesses and some personal accounts, this would be a major headache. It seems like a good last resort, but not something that we are happy to do. If we can figure out secure emails, this would be far preferable.
I do appreciate the feedback. I will keep your suggestion in reserve.
Many thanks!

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