Send iCloud email from alternative smtp server?

How do I send iCloud email from alternative smtp server? The setting is 'greyed out' on my iPhone so I cannot tell iCloud to use another server.
The reason is so I can have my outgoing email appear from my own domain email address rather than my me.com address. Mobileme would allow this - and Mail on the Mac does allow it, but the iPhone under iOS 5 seems not to allow it....
Any ideas?

I have spent about 4-6 hours working directly with folks from Tim Cooke's office, various support levels, and through them their engineers.
As much as I tried to convince them their logic is flawed, the engineers for iCloud come back and say this is expected behavior because somehow it helps secure iCloud from being a spam source. The fine and helpful gentleman from Cooke's office now understands how it is a MobileMail.app client issue, having nothing to do with iCloud servers (because we are in fact trying to bypass their servers) still totes the "it's expected behavior" line from the server engineers.
I have implored him to follow up with the iOS MobileMail app programmers and not the iCloud programmers. I am hopeful he will. Until then you have to choose between having iCloud push and losing your online identity, or losing push email and keeping your preferred address.
Fun to try: turn off all smtp servers. Send email. Gets stuck in outbox. Turn on your preferred smtp server. That one email will use your preferred alternate address, but subsequent ones revert back to the old .me.com smtp servers. Personally I believe this points to a client programming error more than reinstating a preferred behavior. Aggravating!
I spend $500 on a new phone. Google takes away my exchange client ability and apple makes me choose push email vs outgoing email address.

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