Set Options for 2 iPhone Family?

If anyone has been down this road...
I only have 1 account on my iMac that my wife and I share. Each have separate email accounts.
The ideal setup would be:
1) Both phones syncing to same address book, but, having a "family" group that syncs to both phones and a "business" group that syncs to only my phone, and a second business group that only syncs to my wife's phone.
2) Same type of setup with iCal. Have a common calendar with birthdates, etc. that syncs to both phones, and a separate calendar for business appointments that sync to only my phone, and same for wife's business appointments.
Has anyone done this? Or do I need separate iMac login accounts for each phone? I do plan to setup MobileMe accounts soon if that makes a difference. Thanks for any feedback.

I've been trying .mac and does not quite get me where I want to be with two iphones, 4 macs. 3 macs are for home and 1 from work.
I've been using spanning sync which has solved my problems. This will require a google calendar account which is free. Spanning Sync is $25.
Each mac has a iCal for them names for each one or what ever you choose. I then setup a sep cal under the one google cal account, just like ical you can have mutiple calendars. Each iCal then has the same so that my family can see my work calendar and I can see there calendars.. Color coded and even syncs to iphone.
Todd

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