Shared library, 2 iPhones, 1 MBP... I struggle

I have a MBP running iTunes 10. We have two iPhones (iPhone 4, 3g). To avoid sync conflicts we created two accounts on the computer (not just two iTunes accounts, but two computer accounts.... Like the screen rotates to log-in the other person.) When I sync the iPhone 4 to the main account, all is good.
When I go to the second account, I open iTunes 10 and there's the shared music library. I try to drag music from the shared music library to the second iPhone (the 3g) but it won't go. I can select the music, but when I drag it over the iPhone 3g icon, it makes no attempt to copy the music.
Suggestions?
Many thanks.

That helps, but I'm still hoping to find a solution using the setup I describe. With the two iphones, we had a "situation" once where the contacts on her iPhone replaced the contacts on my iPhone. I'm sure that was related to the sync settings I had established (not a software error) but to avoid a similar episode in the future, we decided to use a second account on the computer.
So... I discovered that if I drag music from the shared library to the iTunes library, she can then transfer the music to her phone. But that seems to create a second copy of the music on the computer and eats hard-disk space. Any way to drag directly from the shared library to the iPhone?
Thanks and appreciative of your suggestions.

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