Shared Reminders don't work like they should

I have set up shared reminders in iOS and iCloud, but they don't seem to work at all like I would have hoped.
Basically, I'm looking for a way for my wife to push reminders to my shared list so that I (not her) am reminded with an alert, and vice versa.
Currently, the way it works is, she can add a reminder to my shared list, but it will only remind her and *not* me.
So it seems like while it was a nice thought, it was more of an afterthought, and wasn't really thought through well -- very un-Apple like.
Or am I missing something?

Update: Because I'm not allowed to edit my own question (don't know why...) I have to make a reply...
to point 1) I made a strange discovery - the problem only shows up, when I use the Spotlight-Button in the menu bar... if I'm opening a search window with "cmd +f" it works perfectly... no Safari-History in there...!

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Shared Reminders don't work like they should

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