Sharing itunes on another laptop

Hi there. I am based in London UK - tried transferring my iTunes folder from one lap top to a new one, but I couldn't get the songs to play, kept coming up with "can't find the file". So I tried to share my iTunes library instead (about 10gb total). This seems to work but I have some questions.
1 - isn't it better to have all songs on my hard drive on my laptop rather than sharing?
2 - if I switch off my old laptop that I'm sharing iTunes from, will i not be able to share the library?
3 - when i connect my iPod to my new laptop, it won't let me copy playlists from my iPod to my iTunes library on my laptop. why is this?
4 - synching purchased songs. when I check my purchased account from my new laptop it doesn't "see" the songs I purchased using my old laptop. why is this?
many thanks for any help!
regards

Thank you. My husbands iPhone/iPad uses his iTunes account, my iPhone & iPad use a different iTunes account. We were told both could use Remote App to access either if our iTunes accounts but it only recognizes one account and will not allow us to set up his

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