Sharing libraries: two computers: wireless setting

I'm having trouble sharing music between the libraries on my Mini and laptop. I am connected to the interest via a router, then both machines are connected wirelessly to the router. I can see and play the music on the laptop from the mini, but when I try to access the library on the mini from the laptop I get the message 'The shared music library "Mary's music" is not accessible for an unknown reason. (-3259)' It then goes on to suggest checking firewalls and port 42152.
Both libraries have sharing turned on and are looking for shared music; both machines have Apple's firewall turned on and are allowing iTunes sharing.
any ideas?

I think the mystery has been solved, and it involves a factor not mentioned in my original post: there are TWO users on BOTH computers. It appears that you can connect to only one user's music on a remote computer. And it appears that the user who opens iTunes first on the remote computer is the one that is available.

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