Slow outgoing mail DNS question

Outgoing mail is very slow for me in Leopard 10.5.2 (about 30 seconds). Other threads here have suggested I enter my ISP's DNS server number in System Preferences/Network. But there are DNS numbers already there, automatically supplied by my ISP (Charter). When I go to Advanced options, I see 4 DNS numbers, but they are greyed out and cannot be deleted (although I can add DNS numbers).
I just want my outgoing mail to get back to it's usual fast speed, but I can't figure this one out...
Thanks for any ideas!
Bill

I am not using port 25. I have an IMAP account to my college, and under advanced mail preferences it says port 993 with SSL checked (I think this is the correct setting). My son also has an IMAP account with his school, port 143, SSL unchecked. Sending from either is very slow (30 seconds or more). My ISP is Charter (outgoing mail server is mail.charter.net).
It's a consistent problem anyway. Every message sent out for a long time now is very slow going.
Thanks for your help

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