Smart quotes replacement STILL doesn't work

Smart Quotes replacement in Pages STILL isn't fixed (after today's update).
I sent Apple Feedback twice (about two months ago), I called them, I filed tickets…what does it take to fix a menu that DOESN'T WORK?
Seriously, try this…
Create a document with some straight quotes.
Then: Edit, Substitutions, Show Substitutions, make sure Smart Quotes is checked, Replace All.
IT DOESN'T WORK!
(Please someone tell me I'm missing something here. Maybe I'm doing something wrong.)
Running Pages 5.1 (1769), OS X 10.9.1

No, you're doing it right. Try the exact same procedure in TextEdit, which also relies on OS X's text substitutions mechanism for this, and you'll find it works exactly as you expect. This is a lingering bug in Pages 5.

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