So syncing new events on iCal is not automatic?

I have 2 computers and an iPhone and it is very important that I keep my calendars and event alarms in sync but this has been a problem since "upgrading" to the new Calendar beta. Now, when I add an event on, say, my home iMac (running Snow Leopard) and either immediately close iCal or if I add it through Mail, the event does not show up on my MacBook, iPhone, or Mobileme unless I go back to the iMac and actually open iCal. Also, let's say I make a change to an event on my iPhone, the change is not reflected in iCal on either computer until I open iCal (imagine the consequences if I happen to not have my phone with me).
I have searched the forum to see if there's a solution to this problem besides keeping iCal at home open all the time, but I haven't found an answer.
Adding a work an event on my home computer's calendar only to have it stay there isn't much use. This is one of the main reasons I'm paying for MobileMe!
I'd really appreciate any suggestions because this problem is just about to drive me nuts. Thanks.

I have been having the same problem; when adding events from mail, they will show up in my iCal Events widget, but will not sync to the phone until I launch iCal. This has only started happening fairly recently, but I can't pinpoint exactly when. I have tried having the calendar set to sync via push and every minute, neither of which has any effect.
This is very aggravating, especially when I have added a new event with specific details that, like Dr. Jones Sr., I have written down so I wouldn't have to remember, and then am out with only my phone which does not have the info.
Please help!
Thanks.

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