[SOLVED]If I see "Maybe the USB cable is bad?" one more time...

Hey guys, having trouble with all USB devices on my computer. Doesn't matter where it's plugged in, even on a USB 3.0 expansion card, and doesn't seem to matter what device it is either, I'm struggling with this:
[ 268.656687] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 4. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 272.626205] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 4. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 276.598295] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 4. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 280.565223] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 4. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 280.791874] usb 8-7: new high-speed USB device number 13 using ehci_hcd
[ 280.868601] hub 8-0:1.0: unable to enumerate USB device on port 7
[ 284.968029] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 7. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 288.937553] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 7. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 292.907066] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 7. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 296.876583] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 7. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 299.715911] device eth0 entered promiscuous mode
[ 308.558490] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 4. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 312.528011] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 4. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 316.497519] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 4. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 320.467042] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 4. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 320.783672] usb 8-7: new high-speed USB device number 22 using ehci_hcd
[ 320.863708] hub 8-0:1.0: unable to enumerate USB device on port 7
[ 324.963154] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 7. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 328.932674] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 7. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 332.902188] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 7. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 336.871716] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 7. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 351.053314] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 4. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 355.022842] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 4. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 358.992346] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 4. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 362.961869] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 4. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 374.003868] usb 1-2: new high-speed USB device number 2 using xhci_hcd
[ 374.018495] usb 1-2: device descriptor read/8, error -71
[ 374.135238] usb 1-2: device descriptor read/8, error -71
[ 374.290509] hub 1-0:1.0: unable to enumerate USB device on port 2
[ 374.517127] usb 1-2: new high-speed USB device number 4 using xhci_hcd
[ 379.053245] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 4. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 383.022766] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 4. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
[ 386.992283] hub 8-0:1.0: Cannot enable port 4. Maybe the USB cable is bad?
That's me unplugging and replugging a device in different places. Note that the message appears multiple times each time I plug it in.
But this isn't just that one device (a galaxy tab if you're wondering). This happens with so many devices I'm going up the wall. It even happens with USB Flash drives! "I'LL JUST USE A DIFFERENT CABLE OH WAIT COMPUTER YOU'RE AN IDIOT."
Sorry, just so frustrated. I've tried the classic capacitor flush (turn off, hold power button in with power calbe unplugged) and it's been doing this for a while, so updates haven't solved it. Different types of devices too, not just storage. Even a keyboard did it one time. You guys got any ideas at all?
EDIT: Before that inevitable post comes, yes, I've plugged it directly into the ports that are attached to the back of the motherboard, please don't ask, please, please, please. I know someone won't read this whole post and will ask anyway but a guy can try.
EDIT EDIT: I forgot to actually say that usb devices do not work when this message appears.
Last edited by MisterAnderson (2013-03-17 04:56:42)

If the errors are consistent across OS (ie LiveCD, Windows?)  then your motherboard is most likely on it's way out and needs replacing
You could try removing the motherboard cell battery and doing the "classic capacitor flush" again. Leaving the battery out for a period of time generally has the same effect and in "classic" IT style fixes numerous woes... have you tried a different cable?
If, after replacing the battery, the problem has disappeared I would still treat the hardware as suspect and have it replaced as soon as possible. These sorts of brain farts typically reappear sooner rather than later

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