Someone please help me with this sync problem

Ok here we go. I have had my laptop for a little over two years. Ever since i got my iphone 4 last summer it has been such a pain. I have backed up my phone and synced it multiple times on my computer. Every so often though i plug my iphone into the computer and it recognizes it in itunes but asks me to either set as new iphone or restore from back up. I have tried to restore from back up and it says that the back up has failed even though there is obviously a back up on the computer. I have set as new and it works fine for a day or two and then i got to resync and same problem. I have completly unistalled itunes and all its files and redownloaded it and it worked for a week or so and then same problem. I have also had my computer reset to factory settings (for an unrelated issue) and it worked the first time but then stopped working. I have tried everything i can imagine and am at the end of my rope with this phone. im so ready to call it quits and get something different cause this is so frustrating.

How do you do what? Plug the iPhone into a USB port directly on your computer, or disconnect other USB devices? To disconnect a USB device unplug it from the computer. If it is a disk drive eject it first using the Eject icon in the System Tray. To plug the iPhone into a USB port directly on the computer insert the USB end of the sync cable into a USB port on the computer.
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