Stopping 2nd computer from auto updating

I basically understand manual update vs. auto update and have already read how to set up a new account to prevent auto update, etc. Things are good: I'm set at auto update, and if I plug the iPod into a 'foreign' computer it does give a warning instead of auto updating. That's exactly what is wanted.
But here's my problem. I have two computers and I do want it to update from the one, and issue the warning from the other. But somehow neither of the primary accounts on my computer and my wife's computer is recognized as 'foreign' though they are different computers, different user names, etc. Plug the iPod into mine and it updates, losing all my wife's files and vice versa. I'd like just one computer and one account to "own" this iPod, but two do. How can I remove the permission from one of them? Thanks.

I'm not sure if this will help as it refers to iTunes 4 but you can have a look at it: Both of your computers think they "own" your iPod
However, there is a keyboard command you can use to prevent your iPod auto-syncing with iTunes. While connecting the iPod to the computer on a Mac hold down the Option and Command (⌥ and ⌘) keys, (on Windows hold down the Shift + Ctrl keys). This will stop the iPod from auto-syncing with iTunes and the iPod will appear in the source list. Wait until you are sure the iPod has mounted, and that it will not auto sync and then you can let the keys go.

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Stopping 2nd computer from auto updating

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