Stuck on restore screen cannon restore phone

i got this iphone from a friend (its a 3g1203) and its been working well ever since i got it. the other day i noticed it was working extremely slow and not opening files so i decided to restore it. thats when the real trouble started. it will restore sometimes to the point where it will ask if you want to set it up as a new phone or as an old phone, and start downloading music or apps, and sometimes it wont even get that far. every time i try to restore no matter how far i get in the process i get a message saying "unable to download software, check your connection or try back later" (i get a similar message on my mac)
ive tried everything i can find, im particularly tired of looking up this topic and finding "just hard reset". the topics i find are mainly people just stuck on the connect to itunes screen (which is part of my problem) but nothing that says how to get my phone to properly download the software (which i think is the main cause of my problem)
thanks in advance for your help

Thanks for all the input.  After I posted this I talked to someone else at the apple store who was more experienced and he told me to set it up as a new iPad on iTunes to get past that screen and assured me it would work (even tho it sounded odd).  So I went ahead and did that and it worked, moved on to the summary screen and found all the rest of my files that I couldn't find before.  He explained the hierarchy (?) of what reloads and what has to be done manually.  He was much more knowledgeable than the others and would have saved me a lot of time if I had talked to him sooner.  I still need to figure out how to reload my videos but at least I know I have everything.  Thanks again!

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