Sync all messed up!  HELP!

Ever since moving to Lion and updating all software, iCal, Address Book, Bookmarks and so on no longer sync properly!  I spent a bunch of time updateing my address book, reset the sync data, and now everything is wrong again.  I have two batches of calanders now, some are shared and some aren't.  Nothing is right and balanced across all machines and family members.  Help!  Any ideas?  What a total mess!

Example...
I cleaned out address book and reset sync data.  half the devices didn't get it and now mine is all messed up.  Calendars, I have doubles, some on the device and some on mobile me and can't seem to merge.  Some devices have them some don't.  I know have double bookmarks after cleaning everything up. 
I'm now checking all setting on ever app and hoping.

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