Sync between 2 Macs on a LAN incomprehensible

Hello,
First of all, I've searched a lot of solution that could synchronize iCal, Address Book and my Mail accounts between my Mac Pro and my MacBook Pro (newly bought). I have the two in the same place most of the time, so a solution like mobileMe is just really too expensive for what I need.
I finally found several solutions (like with Google), but I don't want to have Google in between.
It seems that synchronizing these items on a LAN network, without having the internet is almost impossible !
That said, I tried to connect the two Macs on my network just to see how it works. I plugged into the twos with administrator accounts, so I could see almost all the folders of the other one.
Then I opened iCal on my newly bought MacBook Pro (so completely empty). But what a surprise when I saw all the entries of the other Mac !?!!!! The two iCals where synchronized !! But I just don't know how ! And Mac didn't alert me at all (maybe I didn't want that) ! And I just don't know in which sense it goes (why my Mac Pro hasn't synchronized with the MacBook for example) ? I tried to add an entry on the Mac Pro, but it hasn't synchronized with the MacBook.
Another thing is that I finally entered my mail account by hand in my MacBook, after having failed in searching a good synchronization tool. I closed the mailbox and reopened it. And what a f** surprise when I saw all the mail folders of my first Mac, and all the emails (around 5000) !! As well as the tasks, and the notes. But this time, I didn't want that ! I just wanted to be able to read my new emails on my MacBook......
So is there anybody here that can explain what happened ? And how I can synchronize the twos as I want, and when I want (with a button for example) ?
Thanks !

alescalier wrote:
Thanks for your answer ! But it is not that difficult to synchronize iCal, AddressBook and mail accounts. It does work very well between an iphone and a mac !
And my 2 macs did synchronize themselves (but I just don't know how, and how to do it again)...
AFAIK, syncing iCal, addressbook, mail, it's not something built-in to OSX. (There's Migration Assistant, but that's normally a "one time use" thing.) You normally need some sort of external source (e.g.: OSX Server for iCal, Microsoft Exchange Server, MobileMe, etc.) in order to have any chance of success with an automatic sync. Syncing an iPhone to one Mac is fine. It's the syncing the two Macs that's the trick. You either do it manually, or get some third party software or as stated above, an external server.
Isn't this just a commercial thing to not allow this local synchronization ? You can open several Apple stores in the heart of world capitals with that kind of price....
IDK. All I know is that in 20+ years of me using PDAs and computers (Back to the late 80s with my Sharp Wizard, PC-XT and Apple //c) trying to keep multiple devices without designating one as the "master" always ends up with duplicates or other issues. _+It is tricky+_. In the end, most people I know end up just doing everything "manually". (a.k.a.: re-enter the calendar entries on the second computer rather than using the sync and hoping that it doesn't delete/duplicate.) Thus the need for a "server". I'm finding that for many of my clients using Macs, Gmail sync works quite well. (On Windows Gmail sync only works for Outlook calendar.) I use Gmail sync and an Exchange server (but that is another story.) Gmail is free so the features you get for the price is very good, obviously. MobileMe has other advantages which you may or may not need. (i.e.: file storage, remote wipe of iPhone.) So price really is not a primary factor, IMHO.

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