Sync contact problem - cant select merge after remove.

Hello, i just synchronized my contacts with iphone and windows contacts. There was written messege what i did not understand well. So it deleded all of my contacts. There have to be written in RED color - this will delete all of your contacts in IPHONE!! Now when i restored, which was big problem, because itunes always started to sync my contact after iphone connected to itunes. I clicked on cross in upper menu to stop it. So i have my contacts now, but when i use the sync again (now i want merge) it will start automaticly replacing contacts again. How to setup merge again??? Thank you

The warning message doesn't have to be in red. For many people a warning message could be provided which includes a hand that comes out of the iPhone and slaps them across the face and they would still ignore the warning message.
Rule number one with a computer or such a device, when a warning message is provided that you don't understand, decline or cancel until you do understand the warning message provided.
You can disable automatic syncing with iTunes when your iPhone is connected under the Summary tab for your iPhone sync preferences with iTunes, or iTunes includes a global setting for this when any iPod or iPhone is connected at iTunes > Preferences under the Devices tab.
Before syncing contacts available on your iPhone with an empty compatible address book application, on your computer, enter one contact in the address book application on your computer - in this case with Windows Contacts. This will or should provide a merge prompt with the first sync for this data, which you want to select.

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