Sync problem through iTunes between iOS devices and iCal

This is a mess and has been troubling me for months. Please help!
***Devices:
iPhone 5, iOS current
iPad 1, iOS current
MacBook Pro 10.7.current, iCal (2.8 ghz ICD2)
***Sync setup:
I have and have used a MobileMe account but made sure both iPhone and iPad were set for *no* calendar sync. There's no sync checkbox for Calendar sync with the MobileMe Systems Preferences (there was in earlier versions). For the sake of thoroughness I went into MobileMe via it's web interface and deleted each calendar (creating a "tossme" calendar with no events in it because Mme requires one calendar). I signed out / sign back in periodically because I was getting errors occasionally. The online Mme Calendar is completely empty as far as I can see.
After a sync (for backup) I unchecked the Info > Calendar box and agreed to delete all events on the iPhone and the iPad. That wiped off whatever was on the iPad and the iPhone. Then I re-checked all calendars for both devices, setting them to not sync events over 30 days. The calendars on both the iPhone and the iPad now had events from the iCal calendars on my MBkP. But the iPad and iPhone calendars *also* had a few events not on the MBkP: They had "New Event" from when I created an even not he iCal calendar and then renamed and / or changed the calendar for that even. They *also* had the blank and default New Event.
***Test events
I then went to each device in turn and created an event at 4 PM today in the default calendar called, respectively, from iPad, from iPhone, from MBkP ical. I then synced both the iPad and iPhone through iTunes as usual. What happened is *exactly* what's been happening for about 6 months. Here was what was on each device after a successful sync:
MBkPro: Only the "from MBkP iCal" event and no other of these test events.
iPhone: Four events: New Event, from MBkP iCal, from iPhone, from iPad
iPad: exactly the same events as the iPhone has.
I then deleted *all* of the four events *just* from the iPhone and synced these devices in this specific order: iPhone, iPad.
After the deletion inn the iPhone and the since I end up with this: Just the from MBkP iCal on all three devices.
***Conclusions:
These devices sync but
--the MBkP *only one way*, that is *to* the iPhone and iPad, including (annoyingly) every iteration of an event instead of the final form of an event (hence every "new event"….)
--Both the iPad and iPhone sync all events back and forth amongst themselves and take as separate events every stage of any event *from* the MBkP iCal but nothing *to* the iCal on the MBkP. (This generates lots of other dups, by the way…I'm outlining the simplest case here.)
***Other stuff I've tried
Back when I could get iCal to sync calendars / events with Mme I using that as a conduit for sync between the three (i.e.: telling iTunes to ignore calendar syncing). And a bunch of other stuff. Same result.
I've examined lots of settings repeatedly. No change.
***What I want:
I'd like all three of these devices to
--sync as equals--each of them to sync their calendars / events back and forth (i.e.: the iCal on MBkP taking events from both the iPad and iPhone).
--Each of them to only have the most recently modified version of an event.
--ideally (but not as important) a copy of all these calendars and evens on the web-based MobileMe calendar (although I recall hearing that Apple is phasing out this function).
(Note that I rarely post here, please e-mail me at [email protected] if you comment here. Or does this system notify me automatically of any comments?)

I'm having the same issue.
It started when I updated the iOS 7 on my Iphone 5 and my ipad mini and downloaded de iTunes 11.1.
Now I can't sync my playlists all at once or even in few selections of playlists, because it gets stucked on fourth step "waiting for changes to be applied" and after some minutes the sync simbol disappear on iphone and continues on iTunes, but it does nothing.
I also left an entire night to see if the problem was slowness to sync, but it did nothing, it really gets stucked. I've also tried a few different ways to sync (restart, reset, clean logs), but it doesn't work and it isn't allowing me to sync a couple of playlists in a row. Sometimes even a single playlist is not syncing.
I believe a new iTunes release it will be required

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Hi Folks,
I am having an odd prolem which has started to cause me some concerns with possible lost contacts. I have been adding contacts normally using my iPhone especially when out and about. Sometimes to make the typing a bit easier I have done it in a web browser into iCloud or on my desktop iMac. All sounds normal right ?
Having been searching for some contacts I have suddenly been unable to find them, weird - I am sure I put that guy in there a few days ago. Ok so look in the iPhone contacts and its there, look on the ipad and its there, but in the web access icould it not. Stuff entered on the iphone or ipad do sync to ech other, but apparently somehow bypassing the web accessed icloud.
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Has anybody got any ideas whats going on here ? I do knwo that I often see at the foot of a contact in the iphone LINKED contacts that have all the same details.
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On the iMac open iCal.
From the menu bar click iCal > Preferences then select the Accounts tab then the Account Information tab.
Select iCloud on the left under Accounts.
Make sure: Enable this account is selected
And select Push from the pop up menu next to: Referesh Calendars
Now reset your iOS devices.
Hold the On/Off Sleep/Wake button and the Home button down at the same time for at least ten seconds, until the Apple logo appears.

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Hi, Ralph. Thanks so much for taking the time to address my discussion. While your solution did not correct the problem, it did bring clarity that it's the Mac–not the iPhone or other iOS devices–that is the entity having trouble.
While going through your solution steps on the iPhone, I decided that I should probably take the same actions on my iPad (Wi-Fi Only). When I turned to the iPad, I realized that both the iPad and the iPhone have remained in sync with all messages: only the Mac has not been posting some iMessages.
So I did perform your solutions steps, but they did not have an effect on the Mac Messages. I then removed my Apple ID from Messages on the Mac, quit Messages, and Shut Down the Mac. After a few minutes, I started the Mac, launched Messages on the Mac, and activated an iMessage account using my Apple ID. No improvement on the Mac side was realized.
I think I have the issue better isolated to... Messages on the Mac was not accepting iMessages sent to or received from my telephone number. I've always had my Messages preference set to Start Messages from my Phone number (and again on my iPad and iPhone Settings), so I'm not sure what changed.
Once I triggered a new message on the Mac starting from my Phone number and being delivered to my Phone number, the Mac seems to have regained its knowledge of iMessages–originated from an iOS device using a phone number and being sent to a phone number–that should also be synced to Messages on the Mac. I'll keep an eye on it this week before closing this discussion.

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I tried that a few times but it didn't do anything...
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If I go to the My Account Settings (clicking on my name on the Home page of iCloud) the Apple ID indicates [email protected]
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1/It is evident to me that only My Photostream is automatically uploading/ syncing ( within the number of 1000) pics;
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2/ since Photostream will then delete ( algorithms unknown) an unknown number of photos, to stay<1000,
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My Qs were more specific
It is easier to answer specific question, when I know whch options you are having on your computers. I.e. I wondered if you would be able to use Shared PhotoStreams instead of My Photo Stream, but that would require MacOS X 10.9. at least, see: iCloud: Using and troubleshooting Shared Photo Streams
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That is exactly, why I asked for your system versions: if you could create Shared Streams, you could use 100 separate streams just like albums, and all would be stored in iCloud.
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But the iCloud backup of your devices will include all application data, so albums you define in the Photos app will also be included, only not the photos synced to your device using iTunes, unless you save them to the camera roll.
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iPhoto library: When you automatically import the photoStream into your iPhoto library on your Mac, any backup of your iPhoto library will be a backup of your Photo Stream photos as well. I'd create the albums in iPhoto on your Mac.
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iCloud: My Photo Stream troubleshooting
iCloud: Photo Stream FAQ
Regards
Léonie
A remark about Photostream : its deletion logic for pics, once 1000 is reached is intransparent
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